every moment of every day i am thinking about this tiktok
Lumpfish come in a variety of shapes and colors.
[He scoops up the fish, it spits water and he turns it toward the camera]
This one is stumpy and green. Very beautiful, very powerful.
[He picks up another fish and turns it toward the camera]
This is what a normal lumpfish looks like. It is more elongated, but still a vibrant blue color. Very beautiful, very powerful.
[He picks up another fish and turns it toward the camera]
This is one of the stumpiest ones we have. Its hump is very high. It is very stumpy, but yet very beautiful, and very powerful.
[He pans over a lot of fish, all looking up at the camera]
My fish army is ever growing, and soon I will over throw the world. Very beautiful, very powerful.
because of this tiktok, i frequently murmur "very beautiful, very powerful" at myself, and i cannot recommend it enough.
stop saying "gen z brought back bush-era purity politics" i grew up in the bush era and even then people weren't saying that you're a sex addict for having boring marital sexual congress in the same house as your children. this is just plain unhinged
Literally almost every millennial I know has a memory of accidentally walking in on their parents or hearing their parents having sex. It's fucking normal. Human beings have sex. Your parents fuck. Get over it. Being weird about it isn't healthy.
I really loved Robert Evans’s response to this
Fun Fact: The birds known as “Goat suckers”
So. This week is a little different, just for fun! We’re going to get into the etymology of a group of birds, with a little bit of folklore mixed in, because I think it’s neat!
Since you are on the internet, you may be familiar with Caprimulgiformes. Well. That name is A Lot, so you probably don’t know them by that name, but they are an Order of birds that includes such internet sensations as Frogmouths and Nightjars and Whip-poor-wills.
Another term for them is “Goat suckers”.
Why? Let me explain:
The Order name “Caprimuliformes” can be broken into two basic parts:
Capra: (latin) “goat” (yes, like capricorn).
mulgeō: (latin) “I milk”
Which, in turn, can be combined to create the word:
caprimulgus:
(latin) “goat milker”. At some point, people started translating this as “goat sucker”, and I am not one to disagree, on account of it being a funnier name, in my correct opinion.
This is not to be confused with another so-called goat-sucker: el chupacabra (Spanish: chupar, ‘to suck’, and cabras, ‘goats’). I guess everyone is very worried about their goats getting– actually, nevermind.
Caprimulgiformes are aerial insectivores, meaning they capture insects out of the air. In many parts of the world, people have noticed that they like to hang out around goats (and other herd animals, but lets focus on the goats). Why? Well, the real reason is because bugs are attracted to the goats, and these birds are attracted to the bugs. These birds also happen to be nocturnal.
Now, if these birds caught bugs during the day, they would probably have a different name, and this would likely be the end of the story. However, the fact that they appear at night, swooping low over the goat herds for mysterious reasons, is something that goat herders in ancient Greece apparently found to be very untrustworthy.
You see, sometimes, nanny goats suddenly stop producing milk. This can happen for a variety of reasons, and these reasons are often not obvious. And when ancient goat herders discovered a goat suddenly wasn’t producing milk one morning, they, like all humans, want to know the reason.
So they thought to themselves: what could have happened since yesterday to cause this? What have I seen? What have I noticed?
And they remember those birds, which only appear at night, and swoop low over the heads of their goats for no discernible reason. And those goat herders thought to themselves: huh. Maybe they stole the milk.
at least, this is how I imagine the reasoning went
This was likely not helped by the goatsuckers’ mouths, which look like this:
I suspect ancient Greek goat herders thought that looked about right for stealing goat milk. Like. It’s around the right size to fit around a goat teat. They’re actually like that because they’re essentially ram-feeders, meaning they open their mouth and fly through a swarm of insects, trying to catch as many as they can. Bigger mouth = more bugs.
At any rate, we know that people thought this, because this guy you may have heard of, Pliny the elder, passed on this little pearl of wisdom in 77 CE (quote from a 1601 translation):
“The Caprimulgi (so called of milking goats) […] bee night-theeves; for all the day long they see not. Their manner is to come into the sheepeheards coats and goat-pens, and to the goats udders presently they goe, and suck the milke at their teats. And looke what udder is so milked, it giveth no more milke, but misliketh and falleth away afterwards, and the goats become blind withall.”
Dang. They also make goats go blind? Powerful little birds, I guess!
Nowadays, I’m not sure if anyone really believes this bit of folklore. Maybe it exists in small communities, but I don’t know of any. Even in 77 C.E., Pliny seemed a bit doubtful of this fact. In another bit of writing, where he recounts an old man telling him about the harms of goatsuckers, he ends the story with the line “But possibly that aged man was jesting with me.” (quote from Dictionary of American Bird Names).
(bonus:
In my area, we have the “whip-poor-will”, because their call sounds like they’re repeating “whip-poor-will” over and over and over and over and over and over and over. They also happen to be nocturnal, and love to call at around 2am right outside my tent. (I still love them but also oh my god let me rest). Here’s a recording of their call if you want a taste. )
argus-voltaris asked:
Stack of twos
xxtc-96xx answered:
lol idk but also have stripe didn’t have enough twos
So my Dad and brother took separate cars to dinner tonight, and this happened.
they look like they are arguing about who is going to go home and change
Oh, they were.
Jake: You’ve got to be kidding me
Dad: You SAW me walk through the kitchen on my way to pick up your sister!
Jake: No seriously do you have an extra shirt in your car this is ridiculous
Oh my god they’re gonna kill me they didn’t want to even walk into the restaurant together let alone have this many people reblog this photo
Honestly I’m not deleting my Tumblr solely in the hopes that this post one day hits 1 million notes
Good news!
World Heritage Post
Some ya’ll who are younger need to google Frank Serpico and read about his time in the NYPD and what the cops did to him and attempted to do to him up until the late 90′s. He literally had to go into hiding in Italy and Switzerland and multiple times people tried to kill him. He only came back to America after the mafia (who hated the NYPD a lot, obviously) said “you’re under our protection.”
Damn, NYPD is so bad, Mafia started protecting good cops
starmadnessgod